I just woke up from a long sleep … I’m not talking about a nap or a night’s worth of slumber, more like three or so years of what seems akin to semi-nothingness.
I’ve caught myself doing things the hard way (again). As I learn to live on my own I seem to have slid back into the ‘worry and fear zone’. I thought I’d come to a place of awareness, applying newly gained self-empowerment insights to the way I lived my life, just assuming a breezy / easy future – and mostly it has been (certainly more so than ever before) but still much toiling and fretting. I’ve kind of forgotten to relax and allow and trust my Inner Me to guide me to whatever it is that I desire, whether that be wealth, health or safe harbors …
This slippery slope of reversal led me back to the scaredy cat I used to be. Without even realizing it, I’ve begun allowing fear to seep into everything. This has always brought on the greatest challenges for me because my emotional fear becomes quite real and raw (a scared me is not a side of myself I want to see, let alone share) as was the case the other day. The situation overwhelmed me and sent me to ‘that’ place which is full of worry and dread. I gave my power away and let outside sources and forces lead. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we give permission to be controlled, overshadowed or dominated / dictated to – that is the only way we lose our secular authority and dominion over our own precious lives … THE ONLY WAY. I know this but still.
So, me who has wanted to stand on the highest mountain top, sharing my discoveries about how to live our best lives, offering the “here’s how’s” to any and all that care to listen is gobbling up this particular life lesson that has just plopped itself squarely in my sad scared little lap. I am jumping for joy to have recognized the little personal glitch for what it is. Like a gentle wind, the realization swirled around me and comforted me instantly to remember that if I didn’t like what was, I could change it – I have the power to do so. Simply allow the good in, RELEASE the negative thought, let go of my need to control any outside source I think will make me feel better and trust it all to be so. I and only I create my reality.
I would’ve preferred not to have had the unpleasant experience, honestly but I now realize it held great meaning and purpose for my growth. Clearly, this evolving stuff is not a one and done thing. To remain enlightened, you must stay mindful of the powers and abilities you possess. I think this is some of what is meant about entering into ‘consciousness’. I’m excited, I hadn’t fully understood that in any relevant way before. It also makes my idea to create “reminders” through my An Enchanted Alchemy art more pertinent, too! (sorry, that was some shameless marketing, heh heh 😊)
We all have them, you know. That little (or big) knock that says, “hey, you’re not paying attention” or “you’re making this much harder than it need be” or whatever other advisory message is called for. And you know who’s doing the knocking or the tapping or thumping? You’re Inner You. Call it intuition, a little niggly voice in your head (or heart), a weird feeling in your stomach – it’s all trying to get our attention and urging us to take a minute and adjust to the course of action or direction that is better suited to making us happy. We have been gifted with an Inner Guide to assist our decision making moments and to help us follow our truest path.
The whole course of things goes to teach us faith.
We need only obey. There is guidance for each of us,
and by lowly listening, we shall hear the right words
Ralph Waldo Emerson
You know what else you may be called to release other than negative thoughts? Anything and everything that does not make you joyful. When we thoughtlessly glide through our minutes, hours, days, weeks and such, putting up and shutting up (or out) because it seems the path of least resistance, please know that it is not. You are paying a price. Each compromise I’ve made for the sake of peace has cost me in many ways. Most importantly, my joy. Here’s a rule I wish to forever now live by and hope you will too; ME FIRST. Let’s make a promise to ourselves to begin every decision we are about to make and every action we are about to take with this forethought; “will this make ME happy?” “will I benefit from this?” If so then proceed. If what we are about to do, say or have doesn’t serve us before all others than let’s take a minute to redirect so that it will.
Yes, I’m remembering now; we have come here to be selfish. To grow and enrich our lives with our greatest innermost yearnings. To love ourselves enough to expand and explore. To nurture and pamper the sweet little creatures that we are. Forget what you learned as a child; that being selfish is ‘wrong’ – it is the most ‘right’ thing we’ll ever do. If we are not taking every one of our breaths in an aware self-loving and deliberate way to assure our satisfaction and delightful happiness then we are just moving aimlessly through this earth journey, letting outside sources influence and govern. That’s why it is so important that we really get in there and learn who we are, what we want for our life and what makes us tingley, silly happy.
And, just for the record, in its many forms, it’s love – that’s the number one desire for us all (beast or human). To be loved is the ultimate goal. But unless we learn to love ourselves first (and most) and not expect that it will come from an outside source, we will always be disappointed and searching. If you were to stop and really think about it, you would probably agree how absurd it is that we have an expectation for someone or something else to make us happier than we could make ourselves. I’ve caught myself many a time believing in this way and very often have felt let down. How many times do you think one person has asserted to another; “I’m not a mind reader” and then, how especially odd it is when one might expect another person to know or take care of something when we ourselves haven’t taken the time to know about ourselves … yup, we all do it.
Once you get to know every big and little thing about YOU and what your true desires are, you are on your way to a sweet blissful existence. This will also empower you to create the most spectacular plan to navigate your charming little life. But if you’re one to balk at a specific plan, wanting instead to wing it and live loosely, that is entirely up to you. A plan just provides the smoothest course which is the other thing most of us wish for – to steady the unsteady and follow a sure and pleasant path to our aspirations. If that’s not what you want then see, you just learned something about yourself.
I always like to include a little metaphorical side dish so, let’s say you went to all the trouble to put your boat in the water. You’d get in it start the motor and then what? Would you just sit back expecting your little dingy to go where you want without guiding it? Unless you steered the boat, having charted your course, it’s likely you would not arrive at your chosen destination efficiently if at all. I see this as how I used to live my life before I took the time to examine my desires and dreams and wishes and then devise a strategy for my growth and life-loving enjoyment. Until I knew what I wanted (and didn’t want), I had no idea how to direct my journey, I just followed a path someone else had conceived. It was unintentional recklessness.
But now, this most recent little hiccup / life lesson is reminding ME that I am in the driver seat (I knew this but I’d forgotten). I only need alter the course to put myself back on track to my contentment. I am so glad to be waking up to all of these marvelous life-changing truths that serve me in the most delightful way. I am safe, I am fine, I am ok. And then, to be reminded that loving myself first and well will just kick it up a notch, I’ve got this. That’s always the beginning of great stuff to come because when your full of that kind of self-love, you become a passionate, friendly and adoring confident and secure human who enthusiastically shares all that wonderful love with the world which then attracts it back to you exponentially – that’s some good old law of attraction right there!
What a great message this has been, don’t you think? Ok then, it’s time to get in your boat and steer that thing! As soon as you turn the key, it is ready to go in any direction you choose, and when you apply the gas /accelerator (your intentions and desires) the journey becomes a wonderful ride to enjoy (because you’ve charted your course) and now know you are traveling the path you intended thinking your happy thoughts, singing your silly songs and now fully believing that YOU and only YOU are in charge of all that is YOU … I wish you happy sailing little selfish one!