I just caught myself going for the least appealing bite of my breakfast (a burnt corner on my toast) and then deliberately took the best bite first. This is the newer ME, more consciously considering each of my moments and actions – opting for the best, first.
For most of my life – with food or anything that has come my way, I find I’ll take the roughest or driest, smallest or least desirable portion or part first. On the face of it, I suppose my thinking is to save the best for last or delay the imminent pleasure, but experience has proven that I don’t always get to the last part. Either because I got full or time expired or something precluded my reaching the bottom or the end – the best parts or portions go unclaimed.
And then, similarly with many of my obtained tangibles – I will either evade use, thinking to preserve the sacred item or I’ll buy several of the darn things to prevent ever running out of them. I can’t even count how many times I’ve ‘lost out’ due to expiration dates (!)
These are perfect examples of ‘scarcity thought’ and support the philosophy there is not enough of something, creating fear and anxiety which for most of us is an unpleasant space to live in. I know I’m not alone – there are several who think in terms of limitation and ‘preservative action’ when it comes to our stuff. Maybe we were raised to believe deferred gratification is polite and a responsible ploy or that saving the best until last is kind of like a reward. I heard someone say, “I don’t want to die with an unspent dollar bill in my pocket”. That made me chuckle … and relate!
A childhood memory just flashed; my several siblings and I standing in line – my mother at the crown with a spoon in one hand and an almost empty carton of ice cream in the other. That night’s dessert – we each rotated being ‘first’. In turn, we would take the spoon and dip into the carton for our bite. I’d only take a little so that there would be enough for a few go-rounds, but my siblings took a different approach, scooping as much as they could for their bite. Weird that would pop into my head as I wrote this but shows me I’ve been practicing pleasure delaying for quite a while. And while younger me found my fellow ice cream eaters’ actions rude and selfish I am now a full-fledged subscriber to the ‘me first / be as selfish as you can’ movement. I absolutely applaud this all-you-can-get / when-you-can-get-it act of theirs.
As we grow, we learn and hopefully become independent-thinking adults who are the champions of our lives. We should be our biggest fan and make us and our desires our top priority, realizing we are in charge of our own happiness. If you are still in the ‘me after everyone and everything else’ lane, some reconsideration is due.
In many of my personal essays and writings, you will find I proclaim the significance of Self-Care and Self-love defined as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, intentional actions and effort to take care of one’s own physical, mental, and emotional health – anything that nourishes the mind, body, or spirit. Your happiness and joy is your responsibility. To expect anyone or any outside source to make you more contented is like getting on a bike to ride it but expecting someone else to pedal. I can’t stress enough the value learning this lesson is to the quality of your life, making you a happy human … ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST – LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection”
Buddha
I believe this to be the ripest part of my life journey and that it now holds constant flourishing abundance. Admittedly I still sometimes feel tempted to apportion all that I have to make sure it lasts but then I remind ME I’m deserving of the best that there is – ALWAYS. I did not / we did not come here to sacrifice or compromise or play second or third or fifth position in ANYTHING.
It’s not that I think finishing the best things before they get away from me is better than waiting for them, it’s more because I now think each day holds its own special something and everything – there’s more than enough for me / for you / for all of us. If I desire it, I deserve it and so, I shall have it … every bite!