In Between Sunrises

I remember creating a pie chart once that divided the 24 hours of a day into categories; I used to be a big chart girl and loved anything visual, especially if it drove a point home. At the time, I was deep into my career and so this particular chart’s purpose was to illustrate the amount of time I had for my personal life. Oh, my goodness, the results were eye-opening; a mere 4 free of obligation hours were mine, maybe. I also recall that younger innocent me thinking there wasn’t much I could do about it, and so just continued to allow the daily toss, tumble, and turn to happen in a sleep walky kind of way.

I’m much better at not sleepwalking through my days now as I apply good amounts of focus on being ‘awake’ when I’m awake, I will even occasionally race with the sun to see who gets up first. Yes, it’s become a ‘thing’ for me. I love watching my day begin, imagining all that the next 24 hold because it is mine to create, do and be as I wish. This is where the best stuff happens for me – in between sunrises. Each and most every minute, whether it be day or night. I feel hopeful, full of happy anticipation and most importantly – in charge.

Constructing this life where I am free to let in only that which serves me in the best way may seem like a luxury to some, I get it. But I really believe we each have full command of every one of our minutes – it’s a matter of choosing to put yourself first … as was the case this last several months for me.

You know when you hear a song that just stirs you as it permeates your consciousness and resonates with your senses …  you want that melody to go on forever. The experience is memorable and makes you feel alive, packed with all kinds of goodness. I could tell this was going to be one of those memory-making times in my life. An encounter I will not soon forget.

I allowed it in. And then I let it go.

Living life fully means to me that we be open to people, places, and things. Admittedly, I am still working on the ‘letting people in’ part. In my quest for happiness and joy, I’ve found it safer to keep the gates closed so as not to let in the scary stuff. But in this instance, the gateway was opened a bit, and a most delicious experience met me. Full of that kind of passion, not even my imaginative mind saw coming. Sensual, provocative and the connection clicked almost immediately. Sharp and witty, the playful banter was drawing us in. How alive it made me feel.

This sense that you are having an effect, mentally and physically on another human can be a fascinating consequence in one’s life. Letting passion take a front row seat and sharing the sensual aspects of you with another is an intimacy and bliss not to be missed. Zero to One Hundred, that’s how I described it. Tabling the serious side of me for just a bit to play and be silly and share my day, my thoughts, my whatever. 

What I also found so intriguing was the amount of visualization and creativity we shared in our communication. Feeling inspired, the interaction just hummed along like a well-choreographed dance. I’d never felt this kind of response from another, so it was a moment, for sure. Tapping into senses less called on in your day to day – when you allow the imagination to lead, it’s amazing. Like when you read a book and then see the movie; many times, the movie isn’t as good. You know why? It’s because when you read, your imagination joins the author and together you collaborate and create a very satisfying experience. That imagination of yours produces a far richer, tailor-made scene because you engaged in the story, completely – more elaborate and complex than any movie production ever could. Such a strong power that wells up from deep inside and is there to contribute in the greatest of ways when you let it. This was that for me.

The saying: some come into your life for a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime comes to mind. For the briefest of moments, time stood still for me while I floated and twirled and allowed myself to be swept up in all of this yumminess. A ME I’ve kept under wraps was let out to enjoy a life experience I will forever be grateful I had.

My take-away is a less armored and stronger renewed sense of self, more greatly aware who I am. I feel happy and more vibrantly alive and playful for having allowed this in my life.  And I now also see the delightfully intrinsic value in knowing when to let go. Ultimately, it sets YOU free from unnecessary drama unrealistic expectations and false illusions so you can get back to the task at hand – living your best life!

                                        “Let come what comes, let go what goes. See what remains.”  Ramana Maharshi

So, maybe I’ll keep that gate unlocked a little bit longer – reminding myself to stay present and let it flow … all of it from the sensual passions that run through me deeply to the unnoticed but soon to be realized hidden gems waiting to be savored.

I thank you sweet man for sharing some of my sunrises with me …